A Fathers perspective on the humorous side of parenting, life, and protecting sanity.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Page attacks trash and the winner is...Josh!
In house news, we're almost done. Which means I get to start playing in the sand. It will be an absolute miracle if I can get anything to grow but we'll give a good shot anyway.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Home Sweet Home
#1 Don't.
#2 If you absolutely must move, don't take your cat.
#3 Especially if it stinks.
#4 When you tell the people who come to help pack the truck "just make it fit", some wonderful surprises are going to come about. I still can't figure out how to put my computer desk back together.
#5 Guys who move refrigerators don't communicate very well.
#6 Don't have a child the week before.
#7 Being stuck in a van with 4 young children and a nervous mother-in-law may require therapy.
I would like to offer you one piece of moving advice. Pianos are evil. I also want to discover the correlation between being a Mormon and owning a 5000lb. piano. I'm not sure why it is, but it seems to be a hidden doctrine that says "In order to make it to heaven you must own an insanely heavy piano that was owned by someone who lived a long time ago and who, consequently, bought the piano from a company that handmade their pianos using steel, led, and granite. Said piano must have enough sentimental value to keep you from making the rational decision to buy a dog instead." The people that helped us move discovered Saturday that "well-built" is hidden code for "this piano is your worst nightmare". Suffice it to say, the piano is still alive, Neisha is happy, and the next Elders Quorum activity will be held at the Chiropractor's office.
Well now, that WAS enlightening! Even so, I have been blessed to learn a few more gems of wisdom that I would like to share...
To start, let me give you an update on the insanely heavy piano or as we (the movers) affectionately named it "The Herninator". It truly has become the stuff of legend. Several people who helped us move came inside, saw it growling in the corner and said "I've heard about this piano." I'm telling you, it did not want to be moved. I don't know how it managed it, but it made itself heavier and wider and I think it even bit someone. But 3 hours later the Herninator was wrestled into its final resting place (don't worry it's in the house) and Neisha played Hymns to pacify it. As for the rest of what I learned:
#8 Unpacking toys which have been gone for 6 months is like Christmas.
#9 Do it twice a year and you won't have to buy Christmas presents ever again.
#10 Never trust someone to move your fridge who's favorite phrase is, "Did I just hit something?"
#11 Hiring someone to fix drywall is expensive.
Really the move went fine. Marcus has been way excited to get boxes in his room even though it's only food storage. they're "his" boxes and that makes them great. And while we're on the topic of food storage let me just say that creating a bed frame out of buckets of wheat will make your bed over 5 ft. tall. We don't even need to kneel down to say our prayers!
This next week we'll finish up the house. Stucco, sidewalk, driveway, and then I get to start landscaping! That's about it from the desk here at Bonehead Central so until next time, encourage your kids to play the flute!