Friday, September 19, 2008

The Horror, The Horror!

It's almost time to celebrate the Boneheads' favorite holiday and so to kick off the season I have included some horrifyingly gruesome pictures which are sure to cause many of you to scream in mortal terror, either from the scary thought that your parents dressed like this, or from the spine-tingling realization that you dressed like this and managed to survive.

This picture is how to get your butt kicked at the golf course. The "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block.

The little kid picture is how to get your butt kicked in elementary school. Now that I'm a father, I know why I got my butt kicked in elementary school. I'll bet that kid has his name engraved on that belt. Like I did. Stupid belt. At least the kids knew who they were beating up.

The second picture is how to get your butt kicked in high school. I got my butt kicked in high school because I was still wearing that crap from elementary school. This kid looks like he's pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.

Our next frightening addition is a picture of how to get your butt kicked in a meeting. If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.

What do I say to this next one? It's how to get your butt kicked every day up to and including St. Patricks day. I don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles. Ever. Not even if it's "Dress like a 70's leprechaun pimp day."

The next picture is how to get your butt kicked pretty much anywhere. If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like a young Bob Saget relaxing with his "friend" in his new Terry cloth ensemble. What I want to know is who uses coffee cups that match their clothes?

Well, that's about all I can handle for one day. Stay tuned for more strange and frightening goings-on from the desk here at Bonehead Central!

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